Bees Mouth - September 2016

28th September

As Jeremy ascends serenely heavenwards riding upon a gigantic golden mandate, and his hapless opponents cower together, hooting and gibbering like terrified chimpanzees, upon whatever shrinking patches of centre ground still remain above the rising floodwaters of intransigent online optimism, are you struggling ever so slightly to maintain the necessary enthusiastic or despairing opinions in front of your peer group? JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH may hold the Way Forward, cos we’ve got the continually re-selected team of Luke “Clause IV” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “One Member, One Vote” (drms) on hand to lay down a musical manifesto guaranteed to bring the people together, aided by me somewhere on bass, with the consistently poll-topping Bee’s Team on hand to dispense healing libations of the finest liquors known to humanity, while the oracular Spinning Head is ready to dispense political wisdom as valid as anything else you’ll read on social media today .... kick back for the night and let the politicos take the strain, it’s what they claim their expenses for after all, let the music refresh your weary senses, heal your poor over-stimulated mind,  and make you feel clean again, you dig? Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm-late. 

19th September

After the non-stop thrills and spills of that showbiz extravaganza known to us enticingly as ‘The Annual TUC Conference’, there can be scarcely a citizen amongst us who isn’t secretly yearning for the Lib Dem Conference to kick off next week and bring the party with full effect...but do the intervening days leave you feeling flat, yearning for more cheap thrills?  Plug that gap in your funseeker’s calendar by tearing off your conference nametag and shimmying over to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH, where the tireless team of Luke ‘Akon’ Rattenbury’ (gtr) and Loz ‘Pitbull’ Thomas (drms) will be tearing into the customary hot licks and cool grooves, aided by me on bass, while the peerless Bee’s team will be lending their otherwordly beauty to entice you from across the well-stocked bar, like the sirens of ancient myth but with more respect for customer’s ongoing wellbeing... it’s going to go off like a well-engineered and financially viable nuclear power station, so don’t miss the fun, daddi-o, get full of that healing feeling before the darkness returns... Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm-late. 

12th September

Spent a frustrating weekend? Perhaps you were stuck in the iPod an ignominious few yards above the ground watching as your co-travellers relieved themselves of excess complimentary sparkling wine into a low-tech bucket? Maybe you were hoping the rains would come and wash the smug looks off the faces of the self-employed on monday morning? Maybe you tried to catch a train or park a car somewhere in Brighton? Whatever, it’s pay-off time now, cos JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH is rolling your way on the well-oiled wheels of musical creativity, with those captains of swing Luke “Lightning” Rattenbury (gtr) ad Loz “The Speed Demon” Thomas (drms) at the controls ready to take you on a ride to a world of mystery and imagination where the words ‘replacement bus service’ hold no terror, while I play something or other on bass and the Bee’s Team’s aetherial flight attendants stand by with libations of the finest liquors known to humanity... don’t waste your time chasing mirages across the glimmering sands of cyberspace, don’tsit there aghast as ‘Cruella’ May works through the entire Tory wish-list from Brexit to grammar schools to military service and public flogging, let’s live in the now, the swallows are not yet fled nor the vine withered, come and join us, join us. Bee’s Mouth Western Raod 9pm-late

13th September

Sure, you worked hard, played hard, and now you’re a big-shot high-flyer, cutting deals before breakfast, running with the high rollers and playing to win, feared and envied by all who know you, up on the penthouse suite gaming the gamers... but what will you do when it comes for you, in the unquiet night or in the merciless height of noon, the icy grip of fear that presages the slow, inevitable moment when you’re forced to confront the howling void at the heart of everything you do, the futility of all your schemes in the face of your impending extinction? Lighten up, mate, get down to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH where those fearless warriors of light Luke ‘Good Times” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz ‘Mr Party’ Thomas (drms) will be laying down enough good grooves and hot licks to quell the most chronicexistential angst, aided by me on bass, while the mystic sylphs and mermen of the Bee’s team will be dispensing quality liquors and simple humanity from deep within the scented shadows of the well-stocked bar, and the night will be alive with good vibrations to keep the darkness at bay.... don’t resort to stuffing your aging carcass with horrible drugs or trying ever more unsavoury expedients to keep your flagging carnal appetites alive, don’t grind your fellow humans underfoot in your desperate haste to run away from who you are and what awaits you at the end of the night or in the pitiless glare of morning, embrace the light, join us, join us. Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm - late.