April 25
So listen up and listen good, things are gonna have to change around here if we want to get our dream foreign holiday in before everything goes to shit again and we start fighting each other over pasta and bog roll… if you think that just crossing and uncrossing your legs is going to get you ahead you better think again, that game is up, so before they come for you with a passive-aggressive note on your desk and a midnight knock on your door, hasten down to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH and get yourself in psychic trim for whatever fresh fuckery our elected cabinet of mediocrities have in store for you, by letting your frontal lobes absorb the waves of pure boundless healing energy pouring forth from those titans of tempo, masters of modulation and sultans of stank in the form of dedicated retro-futurists Luke “Andromeda Strain” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Dark Star” Thomas (drms) as they get busy spinning another set of Unexplained Ring Structures across the trackless starlit reaches of your own inner space… I’ll be there as per with some form of low end contribution, the peerless Bee’s Team will be along to administer the finest liquors known to man from deep within the velvet shadows behind the well-stocked bar, all manner of special guests may drop in to illuminate the proceedings with their esteemed contributions, shit will get real and all will be well…. all the detritus of what passes for our triumphant civilisation may drift in through the swinging door from out of the freshening night breeze blowing in across the restless sea, strewn with marooned paddleboarders: industry plants, VSCO girls, cursed long furbies, relieved Gallic centrists, wastrels, minstrels and scoundrels, tattoo artists, maniacs, thruples, 2-dimensional NFT collectives and imaginary DAOs, Abbatars, anyone really… why not come and add your presence, strike a light, let’s shine together.
April 18
Another glorious British Bank holiday draws to a tearful close.. all weekend long you have delighted in the company of hens and stags, the blushing hoydens brandishing inflatable penises while their sturdy swains, dressed as condoms, are valiantly sick into the gutter or sit, sad-eyed and bewildered, at the noisome kerb.. now you’ve had it with their shit and want to send them all to Rwanda, but you can’t, so instead go to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH where you can revive your faith in humanity and all its works while bathing in the radiance pouring forth from man like Luke “Bad To The Bone” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “The Velvet Fog” Thomas (drms) as they set the subatomic particles in motion to generate another supernova of hot licks and cool grooves to get you back on the good foot and ready for whatever the brazen cavalcade of trumpeting mediocrities that pass for our elected representatives may be about to parade in front of your tethered screens next, as prices and sea levels rise, horror continues to unfold in the east, injustice and incompetence stride across the land wasting and ravaging, Harrison Birtwistle goes to heaven in a little rowboat and facebook keep desperately shoving their poxy reels into your grill… I’ll be along as per doing whatevs on the bass, the Bee’s team will be hovering mysteriously in the scented shadows behind the well-stocked bar, any number of esteemed guests may or may not grace us with their presence as they materialise out of the teeming streets to come and sit in and do their thing… don’t worry about the bad stuff, make room for the good stuff, come and join us, it’ll be a thing.
April 11
All that continuous worrying about the impending destruction of everything you hold most dear sure takes up your best hours in the day, doesn’t it? But thanks to the last fetid gasps of global American hegemonic dominance it is now officially SPRING BREAK which means that you can just go buck wild now and turn the next two weeks into the Frat party style hedonistic mayhem you always knew you deserved… or retain a shred of dignity and proceed to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH where those anointed archdeacons of hip known in this dimension as Luke “Dom Toretto” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Brian O’Conner” Thomas (drms) as they hit the nitro and go fast and furious, yet also somehow simultaneously tasteful and restrained, like a Dodge Charger 426 Hemi R/T and a 2002 Nissan Skyline GT-R R34 racing down a street in far away glorious sunny California towards a golden horizon shining with the radiance of promises yet to be fulfilled.. I will be assisting in some manner on bass, like Chris “Ludacris” Bridges in a comedy supporting role, the Bee’s team will be on hand ready to make with the grade A hooch at your request, a host of esteemed guests may make their way through the streets, now quickening with the fresh aroma of the blossom blowing down off the empty hillsides as rugged and impassive as Vin Diesel’s face in close-up, and come and sit in and adorn the evening with their heartfelt contributions…don't just sit around looking for someone else to blame, like ex-PM Sunak, come and join us, it’ll make it better for a while, stave off the iron hand of dread that clutches at your poor foolish heart, what’s to lose?
April 4
April is the ginchiest month, breeding hipsters out of the dead land, mixing memory and decaff latte, stirring dull roots with spring rain…Ok, so maybe winter kept us warm, feeding a little life with dried tubers like some kind of vegan-only diner, but the time for this kind of seasonally affective lollygagging is over - spring is coming, then summer with all its hideous body shaming and sunburn, so it’s time to get into mental shape, and quick.. fortunately JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEES’ MOUTH is here, ready and waiting to prime your pump and get you back on the good foot and feeling the power of positive thinking with man like Luke “Dhayadhvam” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Damyata” Thomas (drms) as they join forces yet again, friends, to weave a sonic vibe so powerful, illuminating and true that all who step within its radiant orbit shall feel the cares of this mortal world drop away from their weary shoulders, and hear the tumult of endless horrible bullsh*t that besets them fade away til it is as the gentle soughing of the wind through branches of the sodden blackthorn as it waits, laden now with spectral shrouds of blossom, at the end of the muddy pathway leading to the bare hills…. those elevated dudes of the Bee’s Team will be there as well to serve you from an array of high-grade hooch, which always helps, a randomly selected array of special guests may well drop by to add lustre to the proceedings…. outside the steamy windows all may seem kinda harsh and far away across the night horrible deeds are being done, don’t you know, but we’ll be doing our darndest to make something good happen in here, come and feel the noise.