Spring is here! All is in order in the birds, bees and green shoots department: in the sorry world of man, The Tories greet the season with their traditional display of infighting and hypocrisy while Mr Corbyn responds with characteristically principled modesty by doing nothing at all, Mr Trump spouts absurdities, Mr Putin jails his enemies and the i360 celebrates the arrival of clear skies by promptly breaking down. JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE'S MOUTH is right on message with this cavalcade of seasonal continuity thanks to the returning phenomenon of Luke 'Colonial Mentality' Rattenbury (gtr) and Tristan 'T Bone' Banks (drms) as they ride in on waves of the freshest sounds around, with me helping out on bass and the eternally young and fragrant Bee's Team on hand to dispense draughts of reviving liquors from deep in the vernal well... Don't get lost in a dreary works of Internet hoo-ha - you really don't need to check out any more middle aged men's opinions on terrorism, look at anyone's instascam frauds or buy any more stuff - spring is in the air, grab your axe down off the shelf and come and join us!
How will you celebrate the Vernal Equinox? Maybe with some dreary box set in front of the redundant TV - perhaps you've got some Union affiliating to catch up on, or are part of an imaginary team busily employed not spying on Big Donald. Or are you just alienated and uncertain, watching in dazed bewilderment as the whole show seems to slide gently into the boring abyss? JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE'S MOUTH is the jam you need to connect you back into the cosmic cycle, thanks to the special irreducible talents of special guests Al 'Crazy Eyes Killa' Scott on piano and Angus 'The Gent' Bishop on the traps, plus me on bass and the bright eyed woodland creatures of the Bee's team waiting with immaculately poised alertness behind the well stocked bar.. Don't let the Prolonged Period Of Uncertainty harsh your vibe, come join us, let your spirit be free, there's another force at work in the slow rising of the sap and the spawning beneath the salt expanses of the ocean, soon the blossom will return and the first djembe drummers will be heard in the parks, the cycles continue ...
As we stumble fearfully into 2017, the choking fog of disappointment rises thicker and faster - disappointed Remainers, disappointed Corbynistas, angry disappointed Brexiters, angry disappointed Donald... Thank the cold glittering stars for JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE'S MOUTH cos we never promise what we can't deliver, and we always deliver on the promise of the real swinging sounds from those masters of musical ceremony Luke 'Whole World Is Africa' Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz 'Deeper Roots' Thomas (drms) plus me on bass, while the wise and patient Bees team wait to serve you draughts of fine liquor... Now the warm breath of spring is in the air, through the softening loam pushes the anxious crocus, the lengthening dusk is alive with the triumph of resurgent birdsong,outside the town lights garish reach the hills and the hidden valleys return to slow fecundity... Stuff them and their endless disastrous referenda of endless disappointment, boring austerity and stale impotent online garbage, chuck your tethered device out the window and come and join us, join us, get with the deeper feeling... Scots and ex-Scots all equally welcome.
There's a petulant elderly golfer with an itchy Twitter finger spreading dismay and havoc across the Free World, there's the wicked witch in office with her cabinet of evil gnomes cooking up another bout of fiscal harsh, there's a ton of real unplusgood horrorshow baloney cooking up every way you look, but you know what? There's also JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE'S MOUTH coming at you as we'll be celebrating the slow turning of the seasons as the blackbirds liquid imprecations peal through the chilly gloaming and far away across the bare hillsides the seed quickens suddenly beneath the waiting loam .. So, you know, stop getting all stressy and come and check out the pure good vibes emanating from the dream team of special guest Paul "Nodens The Hunter" Richards (gtr) and Loz "Panic Button" Thomas (drms) plus me on bass, the fabulous otherworldly Bee's Team on quality liquor dispensing duties, and the regular crowd of hornswogglers, bushwackers, dimwits, nitwits, mugs, pugs, thugs, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, horse thieves, train robbers, ass-kickers and Methodists, not to mention our usual valued customers .. See you there!