This should traditionally be the season for slagging off Coldplay or the England squad, moaning about the wind and rain, or panicking about what to do in the holidays - instead, the tidal wave of bullshit has descended* and now we’re blundering about screaming in fury or triumph, crashing into piles of discarded shackles and smouldering heaps of petitions as we try and take our country back off each other... it’s all a bit confusing, which is why JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE”S MOUTH is the place you wanna get to, be you Brexit, Lexit, Bremain, Tremain, Legerdemain, Cornish or just suddenly utterly terrified about the new completely unpredictable future that’s suddenly yawning right in front of your media-dazzled eyes ... come along, cos Luke ‘The Rock” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz ‘Burning Spear” will be riding high on a tide of good groove, I’ll be hammering along on bass, the imperturbable Bee’s team will be waiting in the scented shadows to answer your hesitant, stumbling request with a winsome smile and a libation of the finest liquor known to man, the nameless ones will shuffle past in the street outside, the air will be heavy with the scent of parsley, lamb and sumac from the distant exotic east via the kebab vendors on all sides, while at the dark end of the street the eternal tide will sigh and sough against the shingle, as Sophocles long ago heard on the Aegean.... we’ll be doing our own thing notwithstanding, so delete your last 25 Facebook posts, grab yer axe off the shelf, hang up your hang ups and come and join us, don’t let it get you down, don’t let them get you down. Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm-late.
*as promised in last week’s post
t’s Solstice! How will you celebrate? Maybe by sunbathing on the beach, or trying to get somewhere from Brighton by train. Or you could relax at home and enjoy a calm, reasoned EU debate on social media. Or perhaps a quiet moment to show appreciation for the England supporters’ behaviour abroad, or how the integrity of the Russian Olympic team reflects the health of it’s political body.. or, if the relentless sarcasm just gets too much, you could just pack it all in and get down to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH... wash off your woad, tear off your mistletoe garland and put your clothes back on because we’ll be spinning our own timeless ritual of good swinging grooves with the arch-druid Luke “Equinox” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Force of Nature” Thomas (drms) plus me doing my own earthy thing on the bass, you dig, plus the diaphanous sylph-like dryads and naiads that comprise the fabulous Bee’s team will be handing out the good stuff from the well-stocked bar, various hipsters and feebs may sit in on this and that, both music and laughter will flow freely and all the horrendous mounting tide of bullsh*t will be kept at bay for another short while... The voice of the cuckoo may be stilled across the land, but still the cries of the fleet-winged swallows call from high up in the lambent reaches of air above the gathering dusk, reminding us, reminding us Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm-late.
Are you already festival-weary, unable to stomach another classic rock band playing to an audience of marketing execs roughing it in unimaginable glamping luxury? Are you jaded at the initially exciting sight of sports enthusiasts smashing each other’s stupid faces in? Are you still quivering from the horror of the Naked Bike Ride, your ganglia aflame with searing, unspeakable images that can never be un-seen? Modern life is doing you in, mate.... you need to get yourdown to JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH and give your mind a vacation, as you tune in to the universal vibrations being manifested by Luke “Ascended Master” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Great Cthulhu is Risen” Thomas (drms) as they ride on the endless cosmic waves of good groove emanating from the giant pulsating AUM in the centre of the multiverse, crystallised in this dimension into funky bebop, while I muck about on bass, while the fragrant otherworldly sybills who make up the matchless Bee’s team beckon from the mysterious twilight behind the well-stocked bar, while the dark chthonic spaces beneath are alive with the murmur of intoxicated voices, and the nameless creatures of the night shuffle past in the echoing streets outside ... give yourself a holiday, free of 1st world guilt, un-compromised by involvement in some mega-corps shitty ‘sharing economy’ pyramid scheme, unsullied by endless check-in queues in obscure airports, and come and join us, join us, don’t leave it too late. Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm-late.
As the Brighton festival wafts coquettishly out of town and the Kemp Town Carnival retreats on a tide of cider and face paint, as the summer beckons with it’s heady bouquet of petrol fumes and oily barbecue aroma, as another the glorious sunset is reflected off the naked crimson backs of a thousand tatto-ed scaffolders, as the parks come alive to the sound of newly-awakened dreadlocked djembe drummers ... as the dark horror of the impending tidal wave of Brexit/Trump bullshit threatens to engulf us all, JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH continues to lay down the good grooves courtesy of the imperturbable majesty of Luke “No Pasaran” Rattenbury (gtr) and the deep deep pocket of Loz “The Demon Haggler” Thomas (drms), plus the customary contributions from me on bass, and the languid but attentive ministrations of the fascinatingly irresistible Bee’s team as they hover in the scented shadows ready to fulfill your unspoken hopes and desires.... gather together against the coming storm, folks, and don’t forget to register to vote... Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm-late.