31st July
As the weather changes quicker than a resigning Tory, but low temperatures remain as stubbornly as a defiantly dishevelled Socialist leader, how’s your summer going? Where’s the sunburn and barbecue stink we were promised, to distract us from the dreadful yawning chasm offreshly unshackled insania brewing up in the lowering future? Let JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE”S MOUTH be your beacon of joy in an uncertain world, where the replacement bus service of uncertainty seems to have permanently replaced the full working timetable of fulfilment ... watch as Luke “Break Point” Rattenbury (gtr) matches Andy Murray in unrestrained emotional exuberance, and Loz “Game Set And Match” Thomas (drms) smashes them to the back of the court like a don, thrill to the torrent of good soulful swinging sounds, marvel as I plough along on bass, sigh as the ever-verdant Bee’s Team beckon mysteriously from the scented shadows, gaze in awestruck rapture as the top predator of the jazz world* swims in from distant seas, take a drink, take a break, feel mighty real..... ....Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm-late.
*Steve Salkind
25th July
The Russian Olympic team pull out of Rio and head for Secret Garden Party - Boris pioneers the use of limericks in diplomatic negotiations- “Sir” Phil green’s yacht grows wings and flies off to a secret base on Mars with him laughing like a maniac at the controls - Pokemons start fighting back, imprison puny humans in 2-dimensional dream world - thank god for JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH as it continues to provide a haven of good grooves, hot solos and cool meditations for you to come and seek refuge from the ever-increasing vortex of howling idiocy swirling around our weary heads, as the Prolonged Period Of Uncertainty gathers momentum, Hillary has yet more e-mail trouble and wishes she’d stuck to Snapchat and Trump awaits the moment to reveal his true Decepticon nature and morph into an orange Dodge Charger .... tireless warriors of soulful swing Luke “Luke” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Loz” Thomas (drms) will be delivering the goods, I’ll be backing up on bass, the miraculously sylphs and mermaids of the Bee’s team will be poised waiting in the fragrant shadows to serve up libations of the finest liquors known to humanity... good life good life good life good life it’s a ..... good life, good life. Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm-late.
18th July
With a single beat of it’s shimmering scented wings summer lifts itself effortlessly into the lambent azure reaches, alive with the indefatigable tremulous cries of lark, swift and marten, exhaling it’s warm breath like a fire-escape vaping enthusiast to break into a million million glittering butterflies of light refracted off the glassy sea... JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH is back, clad in raiment of deepest purple, smiling the inscrutable smile of timeless aeons as the ageless skills of Luke “Mandrake” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz “Lord Summerisle” Thomas (drms) unite to celebrate the eternal rolling of the seasons towards this glorious balmy eye of the hurricane, aided as ever by me (sweatily) on bass and the mystic sylphs and oracles of the Bee’s team as they toil in languorous enslavement behind the well-stocked bar..... don’t get stuck in crowded meeting rooms waiting for your democratic vote to be annulled, don’t linger bitterly on the platform adding up train cancellations, tear yourself away from the 1980s re-enactment society that is contemporary parliamentary politics, desist from smashing each other over the head with real or metaphorical brickbats, avert your fascinated gaze from Mrs ‘G4s” May and her cabinet of horrors, stick up a defiant finger at the Prolonged Period Of Uncertainty and come and join us, join us..... it’s a stone groove and all you cats are welcome, what are you waiting for? Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm-late.
4th July
As Love Supreme trundles off into the golden twilight like a splendid chariot full of musical wonders, we’re left with the tidal wave of bullshit continuing to swill messily around our ankles, as the resurgent 70s-style Alf Garnetts begin to hoot together like Icelandic football fans, as various toad-faced or straw-headed politicos slither back under their rocks, as the i-Doughnut climbs jerkily to the top of it’s pole and everyone suddenly remembers that the tennis is on.... we here at JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BBE’S MOUTH are committed as ever to delivering on thegood grooves regardless of wind, rain, pollsters or market fluctuations thanks to the limitless talents of Luke “The Seer” Rattenbury (gtr) and Loz ‘The Golden One” Thomas (drms) plus me on bass, while in the mysterious shadows behind the bar the scented naiads and dryads recruited into the Bee’s team will be on hand to deliver up welcome libations of the finest international euro-beers, in defiance of the stupid zeitgeist, and who can say if some top oceanic predator* may not waft in on the night breeze with his tenor sax to nice up the area.... don’t let them grind you down, come join us, come join us... Bee’s Mouth Western Road 9pm - late.
*Steve Salkind