Bees Mouth - April 2017

April 24th

Politics! So life-affirmingly wonderful! Such a cast of characters, such drama, such excitement and catharsis! I bet you just can’t get enough of elections, referenda, polls, surveys and angry men yelling at each other on social media.. but what will you do when the last ballot is cast, the last scandal unearthed, the very last stinging FB rebuke delivered at 3am via your twitchy iPhone fingers to utterly defeat and confound your enemies? Let JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH offer you a vision of a different world, where there’s no need to assert your individuality and belief in personal freedom by smashing people over the head with your hastily assembled opinions, where you can relax the rictus of outrage that’s been glued to your lovely face since, like, forever, where you can stop trying to sort out Fillon from Macron from Hamon from Melenchon as if they’re all characters in a spectacularly boring Star Wars reboot, where you can leave off trying to imagine just exactly what the heck is going to happen to the entity formerly known as the UK and whether Ms May’s plans extend beyond Grammar schools and into the Tory wonderland of National Service, press gangs, public executions and compulsory suet pudding for the under 5s.... just kick off your heels, hang up your hang ups and get down with the sounds of special guest Oli “Intergalactic Master” Howe on the keys, plus regular hero and Alpine operative Loz “Positive Vibes” Thomas (drms), as they spin a web of hot swinging jazz n’ grooves, plus me on bass, and the peerless Bee’s team wait in the scented shadows ready to make with the quality liquors... don’t get lost in a dreary desert of fake news, get with the real deal, grab yer axe down off the shelf and come join us, join us......

April 3rd

The carnival of idiocy continues apace, as we start loading powder and shot onto the Victory and prepare to set sail for Trafalgar once again to demonstrate our commitment to a modern, forward thinking approach to Europe.. really, who’s got time for this kind of boring trash when the voice of spring is heard across the land? JAZZ NIGHT AT THE BEE’S MOUTH is here to welcome in the season with the intergalactic vibrations streaming forth in a limitless torrent from the talented hands of Luke ‘Hakuna Matata’ Rattenbury (gtr) and special guest Tristan ‘Bongoloco’ Banks as they smash out another scintillating mix of hot swing, cool funk and tropical grooves, aided by me on bass, while the shimmering, translucent Ascended Beings who in this dimension are known as the Bee’s Team stand by to offer libations of the finest liquors known to man to delight your senses… soon, all British men of honour will be removing their shirts to reveal the full inky, pasty glory of their tattooed torsos, the first bongo drummers will be heard in the parks, soon the acrid stench of barbecue will drift across from the beach while the suburbs come alive with the sound of inexpertly wielded power tools… don’t be a worry wart, a buzzkill or a funsucker, tear your eyes away from the grisly spectacle of Michael Howard rearing suddenly up in your TV screen like a boring zombie, it’s time to grab yer axe down off the shelf and come celebrate with us before it all burns down….